Helen's Home World: Musical Memories

Friday, May 30, 2014

Musical Memories

It seems that when I lost each of my dogs that certain songs brought on the tears. Now those songs bring back the memories of the ones gone ahead, some days happy memories and sometimes there's still a little tear.

Sadly, I don't recall if there was that special song for my first Sheltie Duffy.

When my Gryffon passed I had just bought the CD by Billy Gilman for the song One Voice but two other songs on that album are the ones that now bring back Gryffon's memory to me. Gryffon was only my second dog and I thought I knew it all, as a result he wasn't well socialized. He was so shy around people, it took him a long time to get to know people and few people knew what he was really like. But as shy as he was I always felt that Gryffon would be the one to have protected me if I had ever really needed him as like the song says "there's a hero in everybody's heart".

Video of Billy Gilman's There's a Hero

The other song from the same album was Spend Another Night. Gryffon was my first bi-black, I had never even heard of bi-black Shelties before. When I was beginning to think about another puppy, I asked a work colleague to let friends of his who were breeders know that I was interested in getting a puppy. He came into work the very next day and said they had two puppies ready to go and off we went at lunch to see them. Both bi-black, a female and a male; the female was more outgoing but Gryffon stole my heart right there and then.

Spend Another Night

I instantly knew
When I saw you
You and I would be forever
Hearts never apart
True from the start
To each other and together
There's nothing we can't do
And until the end of time
If you tell me you'll be mine

I'm never gonna spend another night
Without you in my dreams
For the rest of my life
I'm gonna reach out to you honestly
And try
To give you what you need
With all of my might
'Cause nothing has ever felt
So real and so right
So I'm gonna never spend another night
Without you in my dreams

'Cause you
Are so in my heart
Even alone in the dark
I can feel the light of our love shining
We are so meant to be
That we are definitely
Destiny
And there's no denying
That I love you
Though it's so cliché
There's nothing else to say

But I'm never gonna spend another night
Without you in my dreams
For the rest of my life
I'm gonna reach out to you
Honestly and try
To give you what you need
With all of my might
'Cause nothing has ever felt so
Real and so right
So I'm never gonna
Never gonna
Never gonna spend another night
Without you in my dreams
I'm never gonna spend another night

I lost Gryffon to an abdominal wall infection at 7 and a half years old. He had been treated for gastrointestinal infections, bladder stones, and for an ulcer before they did exploratory surgery and found that his intestines had adhered to his body wall. The cause of the infection was unknown.

For Ceilidh, every second song on the radio while we were on the journey with cancer seemed to have meaning.

There's Mariannas Trench - Beside You

When your tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense
When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles
And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while

And if your heart wears thin, I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you

When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath
And the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless
When you try to speak but you make no sound
And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud

And if your heart wears thin, I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you

I will stay, nobody will break you
Trust in me, trust in me, don't pull away
Just trust in me, trust me 'cause I'm just trying to keep it together
'Cause I could do worse and you could do better

When your tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense

And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you, nobody will break you

And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you (I will stay beside you)
Nobody will break you

Nickelback's Never Gonna be Alone.

You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
You're never gonna be alone
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

Both of those songs seem to describe what we went through on that journey and that's what I tried to do was hold on with both hands but in the end all I could do was hold her until the hurt was gone.

Tucker was the first of my dogs to pass away at home. Duffy and Gryffon were both already at the vet's office. For Duffy, who had age-related kidney failure, I had brought him in and made the decision to let him go the next day. He passed away while I waited for my parents to arrive as I didn't want to be alone. Gryffon passed away following the exploratory surgery. He made it out of surgery and I thought about going to see him that evening but decided to wait until the next morning. My vet had told me that the first 24 hrs would be critical, he didn't make it so I didn't get to see him that one last time. I was with Tucker all through that last night so that made his passing somewhat easier than all the others. Both of his songs are songs by Lynn Miles, one song Fearless Heart describes me rather than Tucker as Tucker was a fearless heart and the other since it was our Good Bye.

Fearless Heart

I wish I had a quiet mind
cool water and sweet old time
and the answer to everything
good luck and pair of wings
I wish I knew which way to turn
I could remember every lesson I've learned
I wish the world was a kinder place
and I could put a smile on your beautiful face
I wish I had a fearless heart
I wish I wouldn't fall apart
I wish I know how to make a start
I wish I had a fearless heart
I wish I had a fearless heart
I wish I could leave the past behind
I wish I had a straighter line
a better view and a cleaner mess
new shoes and a party dress
I wish there was a golden sun
enough love for everyone
I wish this didn't have to hurt so bad
feel so crazy be so sad
I wish that I was brave and cool
and I could break my own rules
I wish that I could face the truth

I wish that I was bullet proof

Tucker Remembered - Lynn Miles' Goodbye

Tonight that video of Tucker and song Goodbye made me smile. I also wouldn't want you all to think that all the songs that bring back memories are melancholy. There are happy songs too, Little Bitty Pretty One for Ceilidh comes to mind and the Beach Boys Get Around for Tucker. But I guess that's the way memories are; all of the sights and sounds of our lives linked in our minds.

And those that are not forgotten are never truly gone.

Good Night Duffy, Gryffon, Tucker and Ceilidh, sweet dreams.

4 comments:

UnknownMay 31, 2014 at 5:23 AM
Sweet memories. They are gone but never forgotten. They take a piece of our heart with them and return give us a piece of theirs. We too sit back and remember. Bitter sweet. Have a super Saturday.
best wishes Molly
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CowspotdogMay 31, 2014 at 7:15 AM
that is how Mom remembers too -she has special songs for all special events. Those were wonderful choices for your furbabies
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Cat and DOG Chat With CarenMay 31, 2014 at 2:07 PM
what gorgeous songs for such beautiful memories. xoxo
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SaraMay 31, 2014 at 4:05 PM
I too have songs for my dogs...not even sure how they end up being 'their' songs, but they do. They are always in our hearts.
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Agility Blessing

May the tunnels not have too much suction,
May the course be fun and fast.
May your dog not stop to say "hello" to the photographers they pass!
May the table not be too slippery,
May the chute house no scary beasts,
May all the yellow parts be touched with one little toe, at least
May the wind be always at your back,
May no bars fall on the ground,
May the A-frame have no stop sign on the top,
May the judge's whistle never sound.
May your dog obey all correct commands,
And ignore the ones that are wrong.
May your heart be light, your feet be sure, and the bond with your dog grow strong.
At the finish line, may great joy abound, regardless of your score,
You have your dog, your dog has you, and who could ask for more?

Written by: PJ Hughes

What is a Title!

Not just a brag, not just a stepping stone to a higher title, not just an adjunct to competitive scores. A Title is a tribute to the dog that bears it, a way to honor that dog, an ultimate memorial. It will remain in the record and in the memory for about as long as anything in this world can remain. Few humans will do as well or better in that regard, and though the dog himself doesn't know or care that his achievements have been noted, a Title says many things in the world of humans, where such things count.

A Title says your dog was intelligent, and adaptable, and good natured. It says that your dog loved you enough to do the things that please you, however crazy they may have sometimes seemed. And a Title says that you loved your dog, that you loved to spend time with him because he was a good dog, and that you believed in him enough to give him yet another chance when he failed, and that in the end your faith was justified.

A Title proves that your dog inspired you to have the special relationship enjoyed by so few, that in the world of disposable creatures, this dog with a Title was greatly loved, and loved greatly in return. And when that dear short life is over, the Title remains as a memorial of the finest kind, the best you can give to a deserving friend, volumes of praise in one small set of initials before or after the name.

A Title is nothing less than love and respect, given and received, permanently recorded.

Written by Sandy Mowery, Wisconsin

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.

You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end

And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;

We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author Unknown

Beyond the Rainbow

As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,

I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.

I saw a wondrous image then of a place that’s trouble-free,

Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.

I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side

Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!

My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new

I wanted to run with them, but I had something left to do.

I needed to reach out to you, and tell you I’m alright

That this place is truly wonderful,

Then a bright Glow pierced the night.

Twas the Glow of many candles shining bright, strong and bold

I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.

For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,

We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.

So, whenever you need to find me, we’re never far apart,

If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.

Do you think the time is right?

May I say goodbye to pain filled days and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond, and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and living light.
I want to go, I really do; it's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know,
That my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you too,
And that's why it's so hard to say goodbye and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
Because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.

I Loved You Best

So this is where we part, My Friend,

And you'll run on, around the bend.

Gone from sight, but not from mind,

new pleasures there you'll surely find.

I will go on; I'll find the strength,

Life measures quality, not its length.

One long embrace before you leave,

Share one last look, before I grieve.

There are others, that much is true,

But they be they, and they aren't you.

And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,

Will remember well all you've taught.

Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,

The fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.

And as you journey to your final rest,

Take with you this...I loved you best.

-Jim Willis

The Price We Pay

There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals.

It is a cycle unlike any other.

To those who have never lived through it's turnings and walked it's rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with the full knowledge it will be broken seems incomprehensible.

Only we know how small price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given.

Suzanne Clother