Heart Dogs Heal

So 2019 didn't end the way I expected but isn't that the way of life; two days before Christmas I had to let my Beckett go.  He had stopped eating much over the weekend and Monday morning his gums were really pale; I called over to my vet's office and got in for an appointment that same morning.  Beckett had a large tumour in his abdomen and the prognosis, even with surgery, was that he would only have a few weeks. I had made the decision  even before we had the x-ray results, that if it was a tumour, I would let him go. In the Canine Cancer group, there is a saying: "Better one day too soon than one day too late";  he wasn't in distress and was able to go peacefully in my arms. But this blog post is about Beckett's life not his passing.

Ever since I first saw my first bi black Sheltie I was hooked and since then I've always had one sable and one bi black.  In 2009, Tucker, my sable was nearly nine years old and Ceilidh, my bi black was only six; so when I started to look for a Sheltie puppy you would have thought I'd be looking for a sable but I found this available bi black puppy on a web site.

I posted the picture to FaceBook and my niece commented about whether I wanted a third dog. I replied I've already decided on a third dog but should it be a bi black; it wasn't much of a decision and I quickly arranged his purchase with the breeder. I picked him up the Saturday of Labour Day weekend.  My father was up visiting, I drove him, Ceilidh and Tucker to my sister's place in Kingston and drove on to Oshawa to get Beckett. We stayed overnight at my sister's and drove home to Ottawa on the Sunday.  My dad and I took the dogs to the park on Labour Day Monday where little Beckett played with an 8 month old Sheltie. While playing, I think the other Sheltie stepped on his leg and he came back to me holding up a leg and crying.  Off to the animal hospital we went; my dad and I spent five hours waiting to see the emergency vet and for X-rays to be taken.  Initially they said it was just dislocated but when the radiologist looked at the X-rays, the diagnosis was that it was a break, a clean break so no surgery but just a splint for 6 to 8 weeks. Beckett was a little trooper and got the nickname Brave Beckett. He was in the splint until after our Thanksgiving in October.

Then in January 2010, on New Year's Day, I was putting Ceilidh in the car and felt what I thought was a large mat of hair on her upper inner thigh. When we got home, I looked and it turned out to be an open sore. The next day, I took her into my vet's, the needle biopsy said it was mast cell cancer.  Ceilidh had surgery to remove the tumour on her 7th birthday, 21 Jan 2010; on the same day Beckett was being neutered.  I had dropped them both off in the morning, Beckett at my vet's, then Ceilidh at the animal hospital and had gone on to work. By the time I got into the office, there was already a call from my vet's office asking if I wanted IV fluids for Beckett as one of his kidney values was high. I was pretty distraught; when I picked up Beckett that evening, the vet tech said that the hospital had called about Ceilidh and she understood then why I had a hard time making the decision about the IV fluids. Beckett was fine and Ceilidh's surgery went well too but the biopsy on the tumour came back as Grade 3, the most aggressive type of cancer and she was started on chemotherapy.  Beckett was my lifeline though Ceilidh's journey and perhaps that's why we had such a special connection.

Beckett was my dream dog, he loved to play fetch with both balls and Frisbees but Frisbee was his favourite.  He excelled (even if it's only my opinion) in agility; he helped me reach higher than I ever thought I would get. We went to the Canada Cup three times and made five finals competing against dogs some of whom had competed at world championships.  We made the podium many times at our regional agility championships and even placed in the ribbons in some events at the National Agility Championships.  Beckett achieved both Silver Award of Merit and Silver Versatility titles in the Agility Association of Canada.

He didn't like to swim but learned to like wading in the water during our summers in Shediac and would even swim for me if I put a life jacket on him.  We enjoyed camping and hiking so he had the chance to travel to the Maritimes, to New York state and all over Ontario.  I was sure that he would be on the trip out west with me next summer but he'll be along in spirit, I'm sure.

We gave herding a try when Beckett was young and he did have those herding instincts. It was amazing to see innate skills come out.  It's too bad there wasn't a place close by to take lessons, I think he would have done well in herding too.

For all his drive and energy, Beckett was a very gentle dog, most people were surprised at how gently he took treats from their hands. He was also a little shy, Keltic helped him see strangers as friends. He was my Momma's boy. Most dogs look "at" you but with Beckett I always felt he was looking into my heart and soul; I had never felt such a deep connection with my other dogs but that's not to say I didn't love them.  Beckett was my heart dog, we were always there for each other.  

Video - Beckett Lived

"Joy was just the thing he was raised on, love was just a way to live and die." 

(Matthew by John Denver)

Beckett, I know you loved me and you were so loved. 

Triadic's Glenciaran Beckett, HIT, ADC, SGDC, AADC, AGDC, MADC, MGDC, MSDC, MJDC, MTRDC, MSCDC, ATChC, ExSt Bronze, ExJ Bronze, ExS Bronze, ExTr Bronze, ExSc Bronze, VBA, Bronze Award of Merit, ExSt Silver, ExJ Silver, ExS Silver, ExSc Silver, VSA, Silver Award of Merit

Three Day Quote Challenge - Day Three

Our journey with dogs, any animal I guess, has us having to go through the cycle of loss and grief sadly too frequently.  My quote for my last day is on my blog.

"Love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation"

- Kahlil Gibran


This is an excerpt from the book The Prophet and, believe it or not, I have several excerpts in my journal. It is a wonderfully thoughtful book about life.

You think you know how much it will hurt to lose someone, a family member, a friend, a pet but I don't think you really do; not until it happens. And each time it is different, when I lost my Ceilidh to cancer it was the first dog that I have ever been with for the euthanasia. It surprised me that I wasn't more upset at the time but what I found was that afterwards the cycle of loss seemed to take so much longer to get through. Does it mean I loved her more, I don't think so, I just think her loss was more personal because I was there.

Ceilidh passed over to the Bridge in May 2010, the song Let Her Go was not released until July 2012. The first time I heard that song on the radio I was in tears, everything about Ceilidh's loss came back so fresh in my mind.  Songs have for me always held an association with each of dogs I have lost but I was surprised that two years after her passing this one touched me so deeply. It is now connected to the memories of my Ceilidh girl.

Video link to Passenger's Let Her Go

I guess that's life though and as the song says, you only know the highs when you're feeling low. We wouldn't know the exhilaration of those highs without the comparison of the lows.

Desiderata of Happiness

A member of the Canine Cancer Yahoo group posted a link to a poem called "A Blessing". It was so beautiful that I wanted to see what else was on the same web site. What I found was a compilation of inspirational poems and photos. This poem either called "A Prayer" or "Desiderata of Happiness" captured my soul. I just had to make a compilation of photos put to music to go with it.  

A Prayer

Let me do my work each day;

and if the darkened hours

of despair overcome me, may I

not forget the strength

that comforted me in the

desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright

hours that found me walking

over the silent hills of my

childhood, or dreaming on the

margin of a quiet river,

when a light glowed within me,

and I promised my early God

to have courage amid the

tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness

and from the sharp passions of

unguarded moments. May

I not forget that poverty and

riches are of the spirit.

Though the world knows me not,

may my thoughts and actions

be such as shall keep me friendly

with myself.

Lift up my eyes

from the earth, and let me not

forget the uses of the stars.

Forbid that I should judge others

lest I condemn myself.

Let me not follow the clamor of

the world, but walk calmly

in my path.

Give me a few friends

who will love me for what

I am; and keep ever burning

before my vagrant steps

the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity

overtake me, and I come not within

sight of the castle of my dreams,

teach me still to be thankful

for life, and for time's olden

memories that are good and

sweet; and may the evening's

twilight find me gentle still.

~ Max Ehrmann ~